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Christmas for engineers

ketan — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 16:33:30 +0000

This landed in my inbox this morning, and I wanted to share it. (I am not the author).

Happy Holidays!

A few good engineers

ketan — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 23:34:49 +0000

This came in my inbox, and I thought it was appropriate for this blog. Unfortunately, I don’t know who was the author of this parody.� UPDATE: source of the dialogue is here: http://www.sputoandlammert.com

Movie Remake: “A FEW GOOD ENGINEERS”

STRUCTURAL ENGINEER: You want answers?

ARCHITECT: I think I’m entitled to them.

STRUCTURAL ENGINEER: You want answers?!

ARCHITECT: I want the truth!

STRUCTURAL ENGINEER: You can’t HANDLE the truth!!

Son, we live in a world that has BEAMS, GIRDERS AND COLUMNS. And those things have to SUPPORT THE BUILDING. Who’s gonna DESIGN THEM? You?

You, Mr. Architect?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for LOST CEILING HEIGHT and you curse the SIZE OF MY GIRDERS.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that THOSE GIRDERS, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…

You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that DESIGN TEAM. You NEED me on that DESIGN TEAM.

We use words like DESIGN, CODE, ANALYSIS…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent PROVIDING STRUCTURAL SAFETY AND SERVICEABILITY.

You use ‘em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my DESIGN to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very SAFETY I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it!

I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way.

Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a STEEL MANUAL and DESIGN a STEEL FRAME.

Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

ARCHITECT: Did you OVERSIZE THE GIRDERS AND COLUMNS?

STRUCTURAL ENGINEER: (quietly) I did the job you HIRED me to do.

ARCHITECT (yelling): Did you OVERSIZE THE GIRDERS AND COLUMNS?!!

STRUCTURAL ENGINEER: You’re $%^&#^* right I did!

Magical Leader Tread

ketan — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:37:19 +0000

This came in my inbox this morning, and its really funny. Click on the image and see if you can find what’s wrong.

From the original sender of this message,

This is too funny to not pass along. This is from a project we have under construction. They built a kink in the stair that follows the detail leader line from the plans – see attached image, I’m not kidding. Plus they added a riser – so they are only about 5″ high each! Somebody’s in trouble. Hope everyone’s having a better day than that contractor.

If you have any other funny stories or pictures of construction snafus, please let me know in the comments.

It’s a Calatrava

ketan — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:07:27 +0000

Structural engineers have their opinions about architects. The relationship between the two requires synergy, but sometimes the architect’s “vision” conflicts with the engineer’s sense of constructability.

So I smiled when I saw this cartoon by Steve Duenes, published in the New Yorker on Oct. 30, 2006.

It looks like others have enjoyed the cartoon as well. The Milwaukee Journel Sentinal observed:

It’s apparently now fashionable to poke fun at Santiago Calatrava.

But at least the jokes occur in smart and fashionable locales such as The New Yorker and W magazines.

I can see the Milwaukee Art Museum or the World Trade Center Transportation Hub styled into the gentleman’s hair.

The New Yorker cartoon has an architect as the subject. Are there cartoons about structural engineers. Maybe we’re just not that funny enough to joke about? If you can share a good cartoon or comic, please leave a comment.